Chapter 1:Tested by Testosterone
Chapter 2: The Better Half and the Children Who Bear Your Image
Chapter 3: Cul-de-Sac of Dreams
Chapter 4: Chasing Glory
It is hard for a Christian to separate their Christian life from their family. How we conduct ourselves towards our wives and children will bring glory, the right kind of glory, to us.
Chapter 2: The Better Half and the Children Who Bear Your Image
The Better Half
Remember those words of Paul that got us started looking back at Genesis in the first place?
A man is the image and glory of God. 1 Corinthians 11.7
There’s more to the passage.
A man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 1 Corinthians 11.7
What is Paul getting at? Is there some kind of pecking order in God’s creation, that men come first, then women?
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3.27-28
Based on this passage what CAN’T 1 Corinthians 11.7 mean?
Maybe this passage will get us more to the heart of the matter.
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Ephesians 5.25-28
Who is Jesus concerned about?
If the man is to be a “little Christ,” who should the man be concerned about?
Is this true? Does the Bible talk this way elsewhere? Consider this situation. There were Christians in Corinth who had all sorts of questions about marriage. Paul wrote an entire chapter on the matter in the same book the passage we are considering occurred in. Some Corinthians had decided that, for the sake of their faith, they would remain unmarried. While Paul neither commanded nor forbade it, he offers some interesting insights.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife--and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7.32-35
What does God expect the husband to do?
Green Thumbs Make Good Things Grow
A college student decides to dress up his apartment. He gets a ficus tree! But it isn’t doing well. Moving it into the apartment has sent it into shock. He’s not sure what fertilizer, if any, to give it. Should the soil be kept wet, or should he let it dry out completely before the next watering? Direct sunlight? Keep it away from the cold drafts? He timidly tries a little of this and a little of that, but in frustration, actually starts yelling at the tree. “Grow! Get leaves, you stupid ficus! I bought you. I dragged you here. Grow!”
It gets downright personal. He deliberately ignores the tree. He slights it, watering some ferns he later bought while passing over the ficus tree. He even threatens to send it away.
The plant dies. His buddies have lots of laughs at his expense.
What if the college student was a husband and what if the ficus was his wife? Who is responsible for making sure the wife gets enough of what she needs to flourish? Why?
Whose job is it to provide a climate and culture of love and compassion in the marriage?
Who is supposed to be “the lover?”
Give examples of how foolish husbands act just like the college student and what effect it has on their wives.
The college student didn’t know what to do to make his ficus flourish. The Christian husband can hardly use the same excuse. Paul gave a list of qualities that ministers should exhibit. These qualities are something all Christians (including husbands) should exhibit.
He must be above reproach, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, not a lover of money. 1 Timothy 3.2-3
How will those qualities promote a loving environment for the wife to flourish?
|
Above reproach |
|
|
Temperate |
|
|
Self-controlled |
|
|
respectable |
|
|
Hospitable |
|
|
Not a lover of money |
"Oh, but Paul was not married. It’s just arm-chair advice." We’ll politely ignore the fact that the all-knowing Holy Spirit inspired him to write those words. Let’s see what a married apostle had to say—Peter!
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3.7
That “in the same way” goes back to 1 Peter 2.13. “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority…”
A Christian husband “for the Lord’s sake” will be considerate and respectful of his wife. Paul says the same thing when he tell husbands and wives, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5.21
How are women the “weaker partner” and how will a glorious husband act with such knowledge?\
How will reverence for Christ and acting for the Lord’s sake affect a husband’s actions in the following circumstances?
|
Wife has checked herself into drug rehab |
|
|
He has lost his job |
|
|
Wife is undergoing chemotherapy |
|
|
He has been diagnosed with hypertension |
|
|
Wife is in a persistent vegetative state following a tragic car accident |
Break up into groups and rate these couples on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being worst and 10 being best. Give a short summary of their relationship and explain your ranking.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
A. Abraham and Sarah Genesis 12.10-20
B. Isaac and Rebekah Genesis 27.1-10
C. Ahab and Jezebel 1 Kings 21.1-16
D. Herod and Herodias Matthew 14.1-12
E. Joseph and Mary Matthew 1.18-25
F. Aquila and Priscilla Acts 18.18-26
G. Ruth and Boaz Ruth 3.1-14
H. David and Mical 2 Samuel 6.12-23
I. Elkanah and Hannah 1 Samuel 1.3-8
What does this say about the truth of God’s words to Eve in the Garden of Eden?
So, is glory unattainable in a marriage relationship?
The Children Who Bear Your Image
Junior had a bad day at school—even got sent to the principal’s office! His surly mood continues at home where he refuses to (choose all of the following) talk to his mom or dad, eat his food, stop leaning back on his chair, though he has already tipped over once and stop pouting that he can’t go out to play after supper because he has homework! Mom turns to an exasperated Dad, “How does it feel, looking in a mirror at your son?”
“Why is he always my kid when he is misbehaving?”
Well, why is he always the other spouse’s child when he is misbehaving, but he’s “My Boy!” when he gets a hit at the Little League game?
Last week we saw how Adam was created in God’s image.
What did that image consist of?
What did Adam do with that image?
The next thing we hear about Adam and Eve is their sons, Cain and Abel. You know how the story turns out, don’t you? Check what may have gone wrong with Cain to have caused his bad behavior.
Drugs
Bad company
Rock n’ roll
Pornography
Bad parents
God didn’t pay much attention to him
Lost in the crowd
Look at Genesis 5.2-3 for the real answer.
When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female; at the time they were created, he blessed them and called them, ‘man.” When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth.
What is “Adam’s image?”
How does this show in a child’s development?
So, where does all the child’s bad stuff come from?
But how about the good? The Bible has a few passages specifically about child-rearing.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6.4
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3.21
Why are fathers singled out?
Who tends to do the child-rearing in our society?
What are the results?
What duty do parents have?
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13.24
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22.6
What reward will God give parents who take this responsibility seriously?
I’m not big into animal behavior being applied to human behavior, but there was an interesting report in the magazine, Nature, November, 2000.
Between 1992 and 1997, 17 young, orphaned male elephants, whose parents had been killed in herd cullings, were relocated to a park in Pilanesberg, South Africa. They promptly started acting, well, wild. In particular, they went into musth - a hormonally induced state of heightened sexual and aggressive activity - earlier than is normal, and for longer periods of time than is normal. As a result, the young males stormed around the park, quite out of control, killing about 40 white rhinoceros in the process.
Then, in 1998, the people who run the park relocated six older bull elephants from Kruger Park to Pilanesburg. The “deviant behavior” of the young males, the researchers report, was quickly “rectified.” No more rampaging, no more dead rhinoceros. What happened? Specifically, there occurred a significant reduction in musth in the young males. Put colloquially, their hormones calmed down. And why did this occur? More research is needed, but it seems clear that old bulls keep young bulls in line, and that exactly how this happens involves both social and physiological factors.
At what age do adults have the most interaction with children?
At what age is it most likely that a person will get into trouble with the law?
Is there a correlation here?
What should be the role for the church?
Whose "Boy" is He?
We’ve explained that bad side of the child and the job God has put in front of parents. But what about the good side? Can we proudly exclaim, “That’s my boy!”?
It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2.3
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2.20
To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1.27
Who seems to be the reason we do good? Explain.
If this is true, who should get the praise for our doing good?
In the same way, let your light shine before me, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5.16
If everything Junior does bad is attributable to the sinful human nature which he has inherited from you, and everything Junior does good is attributable to God working in him, how does this affect your striving for glory as a parent?
Next week: Cul-de-Sac of Dreams